I do always have a little giggle to myself when I get enquiries where I’m told ‘I’m an older bride’ or ‘we’re an older couple’. The funny thing is that almost all of my clients technically speaking fit into this category. With the average wedding age being around 29, and my average client age about 37, then yes, I guess it’s true. That said I’ve never had a client to date with anything other than a fun-loving attitude and a yearning for a great party, so age is but a number. Being older than average does throw up some questions, considerations and conundrums and I thought I’d cover some of those I experience the most here:
Photo Credit: Marty Hadding via Flickr Creative Commons License
Children – yours, theirs and lots of them!
Yes, it’s most likely that unless you’re in the first flush of youth, you will have a number of friends and family with children. What to do? Invite or not? The answer often lies in your own close family situation. If you have children of your own, you’re most likely to want to include them in the wedding celebration and therefore it tends to lead the decision as to inviting others. I’ve had clients go the whole hog and invite children of all of their guests and lay on an entirely separate children’s party area for 50 children, I’ve also had clients invite only their own children and otherwise make the party an all-adult black tie affair. There is no reason that you shouldn’t do what suits your style best; the only thing to consider is that whilst it is usually possible for friends to arrange childcare with grandparents etc., family can struggle if they are all due to attend the wedding, unless regular childcare is already available to them with a nanny for example.
A really popular option with some of our clients is to hire a full-service crèche for the day such as one provided by Artfull Splodgers. A win-win for all as the children are on-site but having fun of their own, can eat, play and sleep with maximum supervision, and there are no childcare costs for parents! A real treat!
Photo credit: Bibi Basch
The team of maids!
I have lots of couples ask about the essentials of a bridal party and what’s really needed. If you’re older it might not be so relevant to have a large team of co-ordinated bridesmaids. It might be more appropriate to include your own children as flower girls and page boys and they always look very cute. It might not always suit either to have a large team of ushers for the same reason. In our experience though, no matter what your age or size of wedding, you should really consider having one maid of honour who is mature enough to really help with outfit choices and particularly with being with you as a calm presence on the day and to help get little ones ready. Whilst flowergirls and page boys are wonderful additions, my experience is often that brides need a reliable, helpful friend at times and on the morning of the wedding. In the same way, the role of ushers can often be fulfilled by your wedding planner or venue but a trusty, organised best man to fulfill ceremonial duties is really recommended.
The ‘who sits where’ headache
A traditional top table might not necessarily work for you for so many reasons, so feel free to go with what feels best to you. So many traditions have been set to one side with great success of recent years so there is no need to be confined to tradition if it doesn’t suit your set up or wishes.
Most recently I’ve had couples use very large oval top table to incorporate multiple generations of the family and close friends and a table of 16-20 guests can really look stunning visually if dressed accordingly too.
Or quite the opposite – give parents or children their own tables to host and bring in close friends as an alternative to the top table; that can work really well. And of course it’s a rare thing that we design a long top table these days!
Photo credit: Pinterest
Late night partying – the mind is willing but ….
Photo Credit: Harumi Ueda via Flickr Creative Commons License
At the start of this piece I said how fun-loving and young at heart my “older” clients often are but I will follow this up with a warning on late night finishes. My experience is that, despite best intentions, the very late finish can be a bit of a no-no for the over 35s. Largely because many don’t have the option of a lie-in the next morning (note: babies, toddlers, children are not conducive to this activity), I would always suggest a midnight finish to 1am finish to be optimal. I’m a big fan of leaving the party on a complete ‘high’. And for those who are really keen and staying overnight, many venues will often offer a residents bar for a quiet nightcap.
Creating the ‘Wow’
Inevitably if you are marrying slightly later in life you will have been to many weddings. I’ve heard couples say this is wonderful because they are already through the phase of attending 10 weddings a year (I remember this peak in my own circle of friends some years ago) and therefore have carte blanche to do what they want and in their way. I’ve had other clients say they have been to so many wonderful wedding celebrations, it’s hard to think of what to do differently to really offer the ‘wow’ with guests who’ve been lucky enough to have seen lots of gorgeous luxurious events. These are both really valid viewpoints and ones which we take into account in working with almost all of our discerning clients. Although we’re biased of course, I like to think we have access to some really wonderful, unique products and services which we recommend to our couples and we go into intricate detail to make sure each and every little thing is considered and comfortable for guests. We’re not about the gimmick and being clever but about delivering an utterly personal and warm wedding celebration.
Photo credit: Helen Cathcart from a wedding planned and designed by The Bespoke Wedding Company.
If any of this rings true to you and you would like to consider having some help with the planning of your wedding, then we’d love to hear from you. Do get in touch via email weddings@thebespokeweddingco.com or we’d love to talk on 01483 282858.
Happy Planning!
